Imposter Syndrome
Have you ever experienced those intense feelings of self-doubt, to the extent that you often feel like a fraud, or like you do not belong somewhere, or you don’t deserve a certain position, such as a job? This is called imposter syndrome and it is described as “an internal belief that you are not good enough or don’t belong.” The feeling is most commonly found in the workplace but can also manifest itself in other areas of life like social situations. It can affect people of all backgrounds and emerges for a variety of reasons including someone’s upbringing, background and specific circumstances at the time.
This imposter syndrome has affected my life a lot since I graduated from university, and even before that, in most areas of my life. When I was volunteering for my students’ newspaper – the Waterfront – in my final year of university and gained positions such as the deputy editor and the designer, I often felt like I was too inexperienced to do either position to someone who was, for example, actually studying a media/journalism/design related degree. I especially felt like this when I had the chance to go to Cardiff and interview Calum Scott and I remember being so nervous that I actually told him that it was my first ever interview (as an interviewer) and he was so friendly and told me that now I had done one interview, the next ones would be easy. Although, I still felt that imposter syndrome when I later interviewed an actual writer and poet called Kamand Kojouri. Later on, when I’ve had positions such as Teacher and Activity Leader for two years in a row with UK Language Courses, teaching English to teenagers from a variety of different countries and then my short time teaching in China – I felt like a fraud, because there were others who had years and years of experience and much better qualifications who I thought could do the position so much better than me. And, as I go into my new job at my old school, these feelings are certainly coming back full force. Why do I deserve this job? What if I fail? What makes them think I’ll be any good?
I recently came across a YouTube account by a primary school teacher in the United Arab Emirates (somewhere I would LOVE to teach, work, and live in the future, when I am a qualified teacher). And this video speaks about imposter syndrome and some ways to overcome it. However, I also know that speaking to oneself more kindly and positively helps to combat these feelings of imposter syndrome. Telling yourself things such as “remember that your success has not purely been down to luck” or “it is your hard work, determination, intelligence and perseverance that has got you this far”. Dedicate five minutes a day to reminding yourself of everything you’ve been able to achieve, and say out loud what it is you’ve done to get there. Is it that you studied three or four or five years for a degree? Or spent those weekends and evenings working on that big presentation or lesson plan etc.? Finally, put yourself in your friend’s shoes and imagine how they view your success and hard work.
I think that we often hide away our true selves and become overruled by our inner voices, especially the ones that tell us to be quiet and not to speak out because we may sound silly or we might be found out. I fear we hide what makes us brilliant – our true selves, being authentic and saying what we truly mean and really feel. Our friends, colleagues, loved ones and mentors could tell us 100s or even 1000s of positive things about us and we would never believe them, but as soon as someone says just one negative thing, we believe it for the rest of our lives. But, it should be the opposite, we should be lifting each other up, helping each other to be stronger and braver and wiser, rather than bringing each other down.
